The Taming of The Wild Woman

I have been watching something interesting unfold…

And I truly believe it is a reflection of how women are feeling inside, that something is “wrong” with them.

I am a part of an animal behavioural group on Facebook, a group I have since I left  as apparently what I needed was this mini study of the state of “wild” & boundaries.

Post after post showed up in my feed:

“My dog snaps at other dogs when they come up to him. What's wrong? How do I fix this?”....

“My child climbs all over my dog, pulls its tail, & chases it… The dog snapped… What’s wrong with it? How do I fix it?”

Watching a video of a woman walking her dog literally INTO another dog & asking “Why does it snap at the other dog when this happens?”.

Over & over the trainers say “This is NORMAL behaviour…. What a good dog for not BITING!” or “The dog has boundaries- good for them!”.

And it was interesting to observe as it was women wondering how to fix their dogs boundaries, as if boundaries were bad.

I truly believe our outer world is a reflection of our inner world.  We are so conditioned to have our boundaries crossed & simply “take it” that we are projecting that on those, and our animal friends, around us.

This observation came on the backdrop of another mass slaughter of wolves. And it isn’t just happening in Yellowstone, BC slaughters them on mass.  Other areas of the world do it to other species in an effort to control nature….

Yet always a “good” reason is given so that people don’t question it too critically.

And isn’t this the case with women?  A “good” reason given for taking her down a peg?  She spoke out of line?  She was too much? Too loud?  To direct?  She did something “wrong” so she must be corrected?

We have been so deeply conditioned that snapping at someones hand that crosses a boundary is wrong, that snarling when someone tries to cut you down is “triggered’. We have been conditioned to try & control how others perceive us, even though if someone is committed to not liking you or judging you they will regardless of what you say or do (And may even bait you into acting in an “inappropriate way”- I find this happens often in family dynamics).

We have been so deeply conditioned to CONTROL the wild, to bend it to our will, to punish it, chain it, & control anyone that steps out of line to the point that we barely even see it happening- just like the viewing of totally normal boundaries in dogs as bad. We view the normal wild in women as bad.  As someone with boundaries as someone needing to be controlled….

Toss on a prong collar & give it a yank to get her back in line.

In the coaching & self development industry I see “triggered” & “defensive” thrown around like candy by people that have no true understanding of the words & who are projecting their wounds all over others in the name of being “more enlightened”.

Those words the chains to keep women in line or fitting a particular narrative.  And does the toxic feminine ever drive the narrative with no help from the patriarchy.

Dare I even say true trauma being caused in this industry not just by coaches, although they are often the ones coming under fire, but by women in general.  A waiting for a woman to mess up, say something “wrong”, snap, snarl, say something “out of line” based on someone elses perception of the world…

SO THAT they can be brought down a peg.  So that they can have the choke chain pulled on, so they can sit & lie down.

I’m over it & I am a stand for something different.

The reality is this industry chews up & spits out a lot of GOOD women.  A lot of women who have legacies to leave. Holding them to impossible standards built on the toxic paradigms, making them feel crazy for having boundaries, being individuated. Making them feel crazy for being self-sourced, grounded, & questioning things.

The money itself isn’t enough- I have seen many women leave multiple 6- 7 figure businesses from pure exhaustion of trying to keep up with a wounded curated narrative.

And then people complain about those “at the top”- yet the narratives burned out the ones trying to bring change AND sometimes I also wonder if those perceived as “cold”, “uncaring”, etc at the top HAD to be that way to survive in this climate.  I don’t have an answer to that- simply a contemplation that has been on my mind & reminds me of my counsellor days.

Here’s the thing:

“Well behaved women rarely make history” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt.

Being willing to shatter illusions… Being willing to stand in your power…. Being willing to be disliked… Being willing to make MAD cash AND do good in this world…. Is all required of you.

The change begins with you.

You wave the white flag & I promise YOUR people will show up.  As Ra said:  The environment will take care of you.

Maintaining your boundaries, maintaining your brightness, your rough around the edges wild, despite what happens externally is required of someone with a mission like yours.

And allowing yourself to be hated & disliked so that you can have a stage big enough to create change in this world…

Because the reality is, not everyone will like you, & the larger your light the larger the shadow….

So keep going anyway.

The world needs you.

Gaia needs you.

And we need to crush some damn paradigms.

P.S- I recommend not holding ANYTHING towards those you perceive as not using their money for good or billionaires who would rather do ___ than ___.  Celebrate the polarity. We REQUIRE polarity.  Rise higher.  Rise stronger.  Rise more rooted than ever.  Use it as a fire in your belly to be a stand for something in this life.

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